A Service of The Arrow           Monday March 27, 2000 8:56 PM

ARROW STAFF

Ah, spring … The birds begin to sing, the flowers to bloom, the sun to shine, there are mud puddles to hop in, and suddenly it’s still light out past five o’clock. Yet somehow, despite all these wonderful — and yes, even awe-inspiring — things, day by day the high-schoolers of the world get more irritable and grouchy, as day by day we troop back into the dark and gloomy recesses of the school building.

This sad state of things occurs not just with teenagers in the throes of wild spring hormone stampedes, but also with teachers as they find themselves ignored while their classes moon out the window towards freedom. They try such devious tactics as saying, "Oh, when it gets a little warmer, maybe we’ll have class outside…" or "Spring Break is only a week away!"

But they’re forgetting one very important fact: Spring Break only lasts a week. Now I’ll admit, that one week is enough to stop me from murdering my friends and neighbors out of frustration, but it just makes me want even more than before to be outside instead of in a stuffy classroom.

Do not despair though, my fellow students! There are some solutions to this seemingly hopeless problem.

1. Join a spring sport: if you are going stir-crazy sitting still in the classroom, make sure when you leave school for the day, you have an excuse to play in the sunshine and burn off some of that excess energy.

2. Plan a trip: While it may make you even more anxious to leave school all together, it does give you something to think about and look forward to, and it makes those last remaining days of school a lot more bearable.

3. Have a spring fling: Now listen up boys and girls, I am NOT advocating teenage groping or sex; I am simply letting the fact be known that being in love (or lust) can make even statistics class more interesting.

4. Go for a picnic with friends: I am fairly certain most psychiatrists would call this delusional, but sometimes just pretending it’s summertime makes you feel a lot better. I think maybe it’s because when you’re having a picnic, those days of freedom don’t seem quite as far away in the future as otherwise.

Now I’m sure with all that time you spend staring longingly out the window at where there will soon be green grass, you can come up with at least one more solution of your own. I recommend you share it with the angry-looking person sitting on the side of the classroom without a window… but hey, it’s your life!

So if you find yourself at the end of another English class, without having learned anything because what you were actually doing was daydreaming about sunshine and short shorts, remember the end of school is only ninety-one days away (eighty-three if you’re a senior) — and trust me … we’re counting.

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