A Service of The Arrow           Friday December 17, 1999 7:52 PM

ARROW STAFF

Remember those wretched `pogs' back in middle school? Remember how everyone spent all they had to collect those worthless printed cardboard disks? Now, to create a happy memory, remember how fast that trend died out?

What about today's trends? Ever wish they'd just somehow disappear?

Let's begin with Pokemon. What is the deal with Pokemon, cute Japanimation creatures that have every child under the age of 12 saying “gimmie, gimmie!” Let's pray that Pokemon dies out as rapidly as pogs did.

“They're impossible to keep in stock. The kids come in droves,” said Walden Books employee Amy Werre. “We can't keep up with them. The parents are even worse than the kids when we're out of them. They're more verbal. Pokemon is like magic cards when they first came out.”

Now onto Beanie Babies, those beanbag animals and bears with lifeless heads that people fight over to get. Since when have beanbags been so valuable? Okay, so they are colorful beanbags; some are even tie-dyed, but that doesn't mean that they're worth more than something at the Dollar Store.

“They've been so valuable since the American people lost their mind!”” said senior Stacey Sommerfield, who works at Hallmark.

Why not collect something of more value, like clods of dirt or shredded paper? Granted, some beanies are cute, but to go to the extremes of a “beanie freak” is wrong.

“Each day at work I pick up the phone and some sugary sweet person asks me ever-so- nicely if we have any beanie bears,” said Sommerfield. “The moment `no' leaves my mouth they are suddenly possessed by the beanie demon and turn into small children who have not gotten exactly what they wanted.”

But seriously, where is the value in beanies? The collectors will tell you, “it's all in the tag.” Let's get back to reality. The tag is a little heart-shaped piece of thick, somewhat glossy paper with the trademark of TY. Many people could probably make cheap imitation tags and slap them onto beanie creatures of their own creation, and make tons of money, like the TY corporation.

“So what next?” said Sommerfield. “I hire some cheap labor, sew some carpet squares together, and market them as the most collectible thing since Elvis memorabilia.”

The employees at Hallmark will tell anyone that people literally fight over them. Perhaps a sport can be made out of this. Place a new beanie bear on the table and make bets on how fast it will be sold. But the best part will be watching the battle for it. Canes flying, foul language, tripping, hitting.

“I've actually witnessed two grown women tear a beanie baby from a 5-year old's hands,” said Sommerfield. “That's when we at Hallmark tear out the riot gear complete with plastic shields and rubber bullets to protect the children.”

The last trend that has gone too far deals with music. Bands that have no talent, such as The Backstreet Boys or Brittany Spears, are contaminating the youth of America. They're getting by on pretty faces. But on the bright side, the Spice Girls aren't popular anymore.

“Like the rivalry for beanie thingies, what's up with battles to be boy bands best?” said junior Adrienne Berry. “N' Sync, Backstreet Boys, Five and 98 degrees, sound the same. The difference is that Five is European, went hit, then came here. The rest are U.S. born, then went to Europe, went pop then came back. The new Blink 182 video explains my sentiments wonderfully. Cheese!”

Turn on the radio and what is playing? Crap! Absolute crap! What this generation needs is real music, perhaps with some decent guitar playing. Jimi Hendrix, Led Zepplin, Bob Dylan— that's talent with a capital T.

“I love Korn, Limp Bizkit, Goo Goo Dolls, Blink 182, and the Smashing Pumpkins,” said Berry. “It's not great `60s rock—nothing can compare to Jimi

—but rock has got to live on, even if that means torching the boy bands.”

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