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ěYouíre not going to take me very far out, are you? I have plans tonight.î This is one of many improbable lines to come out of the mouth of a rich brat (Alicia Silverstone) to her unwilling kidnapper in ěExcess Baggage.î This is the same movie where a heiress who tries to kidnap herself to get Daddyís attention gets her car stolen (oh, yes with her IN the trunk) by a bumbling car thief who wants to set up karaoke bars in Brazil with his profits. She then burns down his warehouse full of stolen cars and sets the Mob on their trail to collect the $200,000 that they paid for one of the blown-up Ferarris. Then, her ěuncleî (who reeks of Mafia ties and carries a Colt .45 equipped with a silencer) steals the kidnapperís money and attempts to kill him. Then they fall in love. Confused? Donít be. Within the first 10 minutes of this movie, I had not only the entire plot outlined, but I could predict what people were going to say. Alicia, in her Gucci camouflage, was little more than a ěCluelessî Cher with attitude. After all, she smokes in this movie, so she must be a bad girl, right? She never tries to step out of the mold that was formed with the forementioned fluff hit of 1995. Instead, she only modifies the same character that she has played in every movie that she has ever been in. ěExcess Baggageî also stars some Italian guy as Vincent, the bumbling car thief. Okay, his name is Benicio Del Toro, but he was no more than eye candy, bearing a striking resemblance to Smashing Pumpkinsí James Iha, but little else. With his labored speech and slow thought process, you could only wish that he would shut up long enough for you to hear the background music. Yes, that was one of the saving graces of this otherwise mediocre film. The soundtrack to ěExcess Baggageî was an eclectic mix of music, much of it so good that I was angered to see it violated by being put in this atrocious film. Yet ěExcess Baggageî was one of the few movies that I walked out of laughing. Granted, I was probably laughing at the movie, but Ö itís a start. ěExcess Baggageî is like MTVís ěBeavis and Butthead.î Few people want to admit that theyíve watched it, and even fewer people will admit they enjoyed it. But for very little cerebral enjoyment, an improbable yet predictable story, and the occasional line such as: ěYou can turn you back on me, but you canít turn you back on your daughter,î I suggest this movie. If you want a higher level comedy, rent a movie ó maybe ěDumb and Dumber.î |
