My heart pounds. My pulse quickens.
Adrenaline rushes to my fingertips. No, I'm not in a sudden-death volleyball match - I'm opening the results of my PSAT's.
"What do you mean, I'm only in the 84th percentile?" I shout to no one in particular. The results sheet informs me I'm expected to score 1210 on the SAT's, yet I was aiming for 1600. My heart sinks.
"The highest scoring person at Flathead High School was a sophomore," said Craig Hunnicutt from the Career Center, whose job is to counsel people like me who might take the results a bit too seriously. Well super, I think to myself. At least I won't be competing with that sophomore for college admissions.
Hunnicutt then explains that to get scholarships in Montana schools, SAT scores need to be above 1280. I am going to need scholarships to attend any reputable college, so I will be forced to take the Sally Struthers' ICS learn-at-home courses, so I can get my diploma in auto mechanics or PC repair.
All around me, people marvel at a junior who scored in the 98th percentile. But I know this student pulls straight C's in his classes. How can this be? I'm a good student, I pay attention in class and (almost) always do my homework. So why are my scores so low, while slacker-boy over there manages to become a Merit Scholar?
But then I come to the startling realization: college admissions directors and financial aide officers look at more than just a number. SAT scores can only reflect how well a student is able to recall facts. They don't reflect a student's personality, work ethic or willingness to learn. Or, they may simply reflect a student's good luck while playing dot-to-dot with the bubbles on the answer sheet.
Instead, colleges consider grade point average, extracurricular activities, athletics, clubs, leadership, volunteer work and jobs the student has held.
Mom has two SAT study books, one ACT book and a computer program waiting for me at home. I am going to study as much as my schedule will allow, and maybe will start using SAT vocabulary words such as "onomatopoeia."
Then, on Feb. 8, at 8 a.m., I'll go to FVCC and take the ACT test for the first time. I have to remember two No. 2 pencils, a calculator and, most importantly, the fact that the standardized tests are not a reflection of my worth as a person. With this in mind, maybe my heart will be pounding with anticipation, instead of with fear, about my fate in the future.