The world needs only two classic spoof movies: "Blazing Saddles" and "Airplane!" Since the Waco Kid saved the Township of Rockridge back in the '70s, and Ted Stryker successfully landed his trouble-ridden 727 in Chicago some 15 years ago, the spoof genre has been complete. Any movie attempting to top classic "Saddles" moments like the flatulence-ridden campfire scene É well É stinks.
Unfortunately, director Tim Burton ("Batman" and "Edward Scissorhands") had to throw a match into the methane and bring a "War of the Worlds" spoof into the arena, and it doesn't hold a candle to the classics.
Not that "Mars Attacks!" isn't entertaining, and sometimes utterly hilarious. But something is missing.
The movie doesn't specifically spoof any one movie, just the whole alien-invasion scenario. But in the rush to compete with "Ace Ventura: Pet Detective," Burton forgot why people watch spoofs - to jab at any group who takes itself too seriously, be it bad movies, the government, the KKK or the FAA.
Everybody crammed into the theater to watch "Independence Day," lobbing its total box office receipts up past "The Empire Strikes Back." Such a film, would seem to beg for a spoof. "Mars Attacks!" offered this opportunity Ð and passed it by. By not even making one good "Independence Day" jab, "Mars Attacks!" fails to tell the fools who made "Independence Day" how real sci-fi fans feel about their terrible film.
The film stars Jack Nicholson as the president. This is too bad, because Nicholson could easily play the president seriously in a real movie. Instead, he makes a fool of himself in a role that any pathetic actor could do blindfolded. So much for the critical acclamation after "Hoffa," eh, Jack?
A plethora of other actors and actresses riddle the movie in bit parts, but most end up dying unheroic deaths. I object to any movie that kills any (and most) of its main characters. Michael J. Fox, Glenn Close, Sarah Jessica Parker, Danny DeVito, Annette Bening, Pierce Brosnan, and Nicholson himself exist in purposefully one-dimensional characters. The quick deaths of most of them cross the line blips in the plot and overblown violence.
A nonexistent plot, no acting whatsoever, maximum explosions, cool ray guns, and funny-looking Martians litter this "comedy," with too few tasteless jokes for a film of this genre.
Sure, the film does have its moments, but there are no classic scenes of hilarity. "Blazing Saddles" has the infamous campfire-chili scene. "Airplane" has nuns lining up to beat a hysterical woman with a pipe wrench. "Mars Attacks!"É? There are a few comical scenes, such as where Martians do a little dance to Tom Jones's "It's Not Unusual," but no scene is truly memorable.
Burton has crossed the line between spoof and spectacle. The difference is, within a year, most people will still rent classic Mel Brooks films for ripe hilarity. "Mars Attacks!" like "National Lampoon's Loaded Weapon 1," will soon fade into obscurity.
My advice to Burton is, if you can't stand to provide the hilarity and spirit of a proper spoof, stay away from the campfire.
Otherwise, it might blow up in your face.