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Man, that's weird.

A column by Jim Bennett - Arrow Staff

Moose looks for love in all the wrong places

   A sex-starved moose, for some reason, mistook a small yellow Ford car for a mating partner. The moose licked the car, on the front lawn of a Norwegian home 125 miles southwest of Oslo, and proceeded to nudge and rub the car.

   After eliciting no response from the vehicle, the disgruntled Casanova defecated on the car and fled the scene.

   The owned expressed surprise after finding his front yard turned into a toilet. He said that he now feared for the protection of his car.

Ring bell for service, please

   Fast food giant Taco Bell is at it again. After an April fools day ploy, stating their intent to buy the Liberty Bell and use the name as their own, their marketing group has devised a new plan that is completely out to lunch. The company has placed a 40-by-40 ft target in the South Pacific with a bull's eye and the slogan "Free taco here." If the Mir space station had hit the target, everyone in the U.S. would receive a free taco coupon good at participating Taco Bells.

   Unfortunately for the taco- craving population of the U.S., Mir splashed down on Thurs, Mar. 22, without hitting the elusive target.

Airline charged in squirrel shredding

   KLM airlines was fined about $14,000, last Tuesday after a court found out that the squirrels they had brought in were in violation of a quarantine. Charges of animal abuse were also lodged.

   The squirrels, which were being taken to Greece as part of the world fur trade, were detained after an animal health scare in the area. When it was found out that the animals were imported without proper license, they were ordered destroyed.

   Unfortunately, KLM kept the animals in a small cramped space, gave them no food, and then destroyed the animals through a crude shredding process. Public protest followed the incident, including a boycott of KLM.